the rle exams had just been over. im glad i did good with the osce thingy. it really aint that hard and a lot of us did great, which is a good thing. the written exam was difficult though. i was expecting a multiple choice type of exam big time, just like the other previous ones but i did get surprised when i saw that the last parts were identification and enumeration. surprise surprise!! but it's over now... thank god...
on monday, we'll have our final exam on rizal course.. yey.. this sem will be over in a few days.. welcome suweeet vaca!!

it feels right

been absent for the past two months or so. i was just busy with the thesis and attending to a variety of errands. the interest and the zest to write something was absent for a while. for some reason, there was nothing to write. nothing to write and nothing to talk about. or maybe i just don't know how to say er write what's on my mind. it's crazy when you think you have a lot going on inside but when you start to work on them, you just go blank. as in you don't know where to start and you don't have the appropriate words.

i've been trying to download acel bisa's english version of "one love", the theme song of the korean drama "spring waltz" but i can't seem to find it in limewire. oh well, maybe it'll be there in the coming days. i'm just so excited that she made a version of that song. wow.

hay. tomorrow's our final examinarion in RLE - osce. i know that i should resume reading as early as now but i am confident because i know that me and coffee equals a tag team partnership anytime of the day. just bring it on!! hehehe. oh, this also means that the sembreak's coming.. woohoo!! i'll be busy with the thesis still but i'll figure a way to reformat this page so it'll have more colors and life. during the past months, i had been outstanding for running away from my issues and turning my back on possible stressors (i wanted peace, you see). but i have to straighten out unfinished businesses and deals. i have been stalling for too long and now's the time to face them. whew, one day at a time.

i remember a bible passage saying that there's time for everything(i just can't remember the chapter and the verse, geez). i am a firm believer of that. i won't rush everything. i'll do it when it feels right. it feels 'right' now.

oomph... something to start with..

after a decade and a half, i finally found the oomph to log in and start blogging again.. i don't know, maybe it has something to do with the hospital duties and the stormy days.. i had to hibernate for some reason.. wow, it feels good yah know?! i was stuck working on a post about a creature but im still not finished.. so it's still on my drafts and it'll be out soon..

uhm, what had i been up to?? for starters i am dipping a finger or two on our thesis work.. gosh, and i have the nerve to plan having a masteral degree!! but who knows? maybe i will love nursing much.. if i start loving it that much, maybe then i'll really have a masteral degree.. as of this day.. i really don't know.. all i have are options.. silly choices that will be nothing but choices until i get there.. somewhere..

a mundane week called the "E.R"

in this not really parallel world, i was assigned at the ER/nuclear med/heart station of MMMC. we had shiftings of the area everyday.. the last two are pieces of cake as in cake!! you can observe for as long as you want, they even let you assist at times.. there's tv, lots of chair, and everything that youcan ever think of (wow, the exaggeration is appreciated!!).. i mean, you're learning while not really exerting any serious effort.. on the other hand, the ER is hellmouth, the complete opposite of the two areas described above.. sitting is not allowed, you are expected to do most of the things and worse, the clinical instructor is some psycho with a split personality (to be discussed in the next post).. but oh but, what's nice is you get tired but you learn.. i just hate the fact that there's like wall clocks everywhere in the ER.. i can spot the time wherever i look at, which i really don't like because it gives this illusion that time passes so so so ssslooooowww..

i can breathe again as the week's over and i can sleep as i please once more.. the retreat and lecture week are coming, bakasyon grande!!! thank god..

station 2

last week, i was assigned on LMMC- Station 2.. it's a ward, not a special area so we did lots of same old same old.. only this time, i got to pull 2 foley catheters from 2 status post CS patients.. it's not difficult and not that gross but it's something you won't love to do..

during the time, i also handled a patient with astrocytoma.. her relatives won't let her know her condition.. because, they say, she tends to be very nervous.. so she's there, thnking that she is treated for her blurry eyes.. poor woman.. poor relatives.. i can't question the decision of the relatives not to tell her, they themselves are in pain and it's difficult to discern whether it is better for her to learn about her situation or not. it's also hard not to know what's really happening to you.. it's not easy to be kept from a painful truth that will hurt anytime it is revealed..

tomorrow, we'll be on the ER of MMMC.. i feel uneasy because the clinical intructor there is known for terror and the place itself its toxic.. tsk.. so before i go cuckoo, i gotta read about the area first and learn some calculations so i won't blow things off the way i usually do.. hehe..

giving up the "june"

ever experienced putting yourself to a sticky situation? as in willfully putting yourself to it just because you wanted to know how it's like?

well, im the kind of kid who does lots of experiments.. i remember jumping from the second floor of our old place just because i thought that it's not that high and i just wanted to try it.. so i took the leap and landed feet first on the ground with the rest of my weight.. of course, i ended up having a super duper hurt right foot.. it's crazy, i know.. and up to the present, i think that i still don't fail to put myself to trouble..

what have i done?? okay, so i did test the waters.. i just wanted to know if their friendly or not.. and, i really liked him ever since.. (now i'm talking about a "him") nah, now, after how many days, i just realized that this thing won't work out as planned because i've got so many plans and so many things to do.. and i can't give up anything of 'em.. and don't ever tell me that i gotta sacrifice anything for something like love because i think that i'm too young for that kind of reason.. my mistake was that i agreed to be on something i thought i wanted so long ago.. now that i already have it, it feels like i really don't.. but it's my fault because i agreed on this.. sorry..

it's true, there's a right time for everything.. i gave it a try but now's really not the time...

thoughts on precipitation

it started to rain outside and i'm glad that i'm comfortable under my own roof.. it's a good thing that we only have classes on tths during lecture weeks.. it feels good to rest and have the luxury of sleep.. wow.. i'm loving this.. hehe.. only i had to think of possible thesis topics that we can choose from.. i still can't finish my writings so i stopped for a while to clean up other thoughts.. so much i going on and i can only take what i can take at a time..

iv wanted something for so long.. now i finally had the chance to get my hands on it, i feel on doubt and uncertain.. i guess i'm just scared.. scared of all the possibilities that may arise sooner or later.. i don't know.. snd i'm not making sense anymore so id go back to my thesis and hopefully, id be more sensible tomorrow......